I Heart Faces Photo Challenge - A Touch of Sun

I know that originally this was for music and poems and stuff...but I've decided that i am going to also post my pictures on here for the website I Heart Faces. They have a weekly photo challenge that I've been meaning to do but have been to busy to do previously because of school. This week's photo challenge is called "A Touch of Sun".

A picture of my brother Danny jumping off a boat into a lake in Rapid City, South Dakota. Just beside Pike's Peak. 

Turning from Tragedy to Fairy Tale

Once upon a time
I was broken beyond repair.
I'd been spurned again by love,
And the guys, they didn't seem to care.
The thoughts and memories of them
Kept plaguing my wake and dreams
I was stuck thinking
Will any man ever love me?

(Enter In
Unsuspecting
Friend of a Friend)

At first it was nothing
Just some texting back and forth
You always had more feelings
I was still broken apart
We were just friends
Both of us still on the mend

With time I began to realize
How amazing you really are
YOU
Just standing there,
Waiting
Handing me your Heart
(If I were you
I probably woulda
Given up at the start)

It suddenly became apparent
That my Heart no longer hurt
That my Heart was drumming to a different beat
One from a different tale
The story began to change
Turning from Tragedy to Fairy Tale

If only you could be so sure of something.
That you'd know that they'd never hurt you or leave you.
That they'll love you forever.
For all eternity.

Then that's when it hits you....
His name is Jesus

Burning Love

WOW! The LORD is GOOD! May the world sing Your praise. Greater grows my love for Thee. My heart burns with Your Presence oh MIGHTY KING. The Holy Spirit resides in my soul. May He grab tight and never let go. May my love for Thee grow and grow. Let the whole world know, YOU ARE MY KING!!!!!

Thank YOU, WONDERFUL LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, for the AMAZING MEN You have put in my life. I am ever gracious to You. You are soo good and deserving of all of my praise. RIP Daddy : ) I love you more than words can express. Always and Forever. Daddy's Little Girl. Thank you for the FAITH you gave me and the brother you created for me. all I can say is AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dearest Savior,
Be thou with me
Guide my feet to do thy will
Help me bear the cross thou hath bestowed upon me.

I may trip
I may stumble
...But it is all a part of the walk with You, Lord.
If I didn't trip...I wouldn't need anyone  to catch me.
If I didn't stumble...I wouldn't need anyone to comfort me and help me to heal.
You catch me when no one else can.
You heal me and comfort me like no one else can.
You see me...inside and out...and love me just the same.

Help me to endure the pain of my cross bravely
Help me to bear the burden of my cross patiently
Give me the grace to persevere faithfully
Burning Holy Spirit, come into me


The journey at times may seem unending,
the struggles may seem too rough,
But i know...beneath it all
I need to continue
for the sake of Jesus's love.
My heart will continue beating,
my spirit will soon be stronger.
My love for you: never ending...
the truth is always there, underneath it all.

I speak these words to bring thou the honor and glory thou deservest. 
Amen Alleluia 

I Miss You Daddy

For those of you that don't know...I lost my father on March 14th, 2005. He died of a massive heart attack. The coroners and doctors say that he didn't feel any pain. His phone was next to him in the apartment he lived in by himself. He could have called my grandma who lived a mile or two away if he needed any help or was in pain.  I didn't live with him, i hadn't since i was a little girl...but that's another story. It was a very hard thing. And only those of you out there who have lost a father and a best friend would know how i felt.


Anyways...I have been thinking alot about my dad lately. All good things. I like to think that my grief is healed. Who knows if it is...i doubt anyone ever heals completely. Since I have been thinking about him so much, i decided to share a poem that i wrote a couple of years ago at least. I will give an explanation beneath it for some of the things stated in there. Hope you enjoy!



Did you know that it was your last day?
Did an Angel come to say,
"Rejoice, Rejoice, for on this day,                                                     
you will be in heaven?"

Call it, Call it what you might...
I wished upon a star last night...
That even though you're not here,
I wish I could feel your presence.

Your gentle touch,
Your sweet embrace.
I just wish that i could hold you till
I knew everything would be all right.

You left like a light
being bathed in pure dark.
I wish you were here
So this wouldn't hurt my heart

But,

From this experience
I have learned,
to love and love
and be loved in return.


I miss your hug
I miss your love                                                 
I miss your smile
I miss your heart
And it's torn me apart.


I loved that hat,
and the way we'd make fun of Melodie's cat:
"It's not "Angel Baby", it's "Devil Spawn."


But now you're gone,
and that song
always reminds me of you.


I hear the song, 
I try to cry,
But I can't...
I'm trying to be strong.


Sometimes I wish
that I could just die,
I begin to get a tear in my eye,
when I think of seeing you again.                                  


But,


"I must be strong                                                                           
and carry on"
because...
I know
that God's not ready for me to be in heaven.


I miss you Daddy,
I miss you soo much.
I wish you were here
so I could feel your touch.




If you only saw the outside my dad would seem to be a bad candidate to choose for a role model, or someone to look up to...but he is my role model. My dad may have been an alcoholic for most of my life, but when he wasn't drunk...and even when he was, he was the best dad ever. When i was a young child i used to sit on his knee and watch "The Lawrence Welk Show" and be bounced up and down. He was a religious man that made sure that we said our prayers every night and went to church every Sunday. He may have went through some hard times, but he was never a bad man. As I type about him i can smell his cologne and feel his strong arms around me, holding me safe and warm. Many, many memories flood back to me. One I remember very clearly was when my dad was trying to teach me how to dance, he let me stand on his toes and promised me that he would dance with me when i was older. I always imagine dancing with him at my wedding, but that will never happen. Even so, i know that he will be there in spirit. He is constantly on my mind. If someone says something and i comment a certain way i can see my dad in me. My dad is the best thing that ever happened in my life. He was always so full of life and love. I aspire to be like him in most ways, some ways i could do without...like working at a resturant the rest of my life....or being an alcoholic...or getting divorced....or dying too young. Some things may change in life, but the way i feel about my father never will. I love him more than the entire world and everything else in it times a thousand. My dad will always be with me in spirit and inside me, i hope that one day i can find a man as amazing as him to marry. I love you so much dad, and i hope that you look at this and laugh. 

True Love. No. Regrets. I ♥ You. Always.

Desire...

Definitely growing and I'm trying to                      
Endure it.
Sadly, I have not found the love,
Intense in its nature.
Ready, I am to
Experience this feeling
Desire is taking over.

Love...
Longing to feel its warmth,
Once agin. This hope is
Very strong,
Eternally growing.
Love is what I'm wanting.

Hope...
Holding onto the dream
Of finding someone who'll love me always
Patiently waiting for him.
Enter in-The Prince.
Hope-Constantly hoping.

Words...
Wanting you to know how I feel
Only my words you never hear.
Ruthlessly I continue

Describing my soul's thoughts through poems and

Songs that I wish to sing to you.

Words mean nothing without someone to say them to.

Faith...

Fruitlessly
writing                                                                                  
And it hurts to know
I might never meet you. Only
Time can tell. Till then I'll
Hold a spot for you in my heart.
Faith is something I need to work at.

Truth...
True Love. No
Regrets. Complete
Understanding of one another, having
Trust, unparalleled trust in our other
Half.
Truth in the words spoken, "I'll love you forever."

Forever...

Farther away than it seems                                                                            

Only not really; "Further seems Forever."                                   

Really, no one knows when this life

Ends.

Very fragile our lives are,

Easily they can be ended. Why not

Receive and give love before it's too late.

Forever love can last.

Crimson Tears

Crimson Tears
by Tricia Sauer


Sometimes I just want to...
Let it flow, a crimson ribbon
to try and feel better inside.


Sometimes I just want to...
let the drops fall like petals from a rose.
Let me out, I NEED TO BREATHE!


Caged up,
inside this girl
is a person who's hurting.

Nobody can see the hurt.          

Does anyone care?

She lost her father.                                         

She's left alone in this world.                       

She feels like she's dying inside...

Like she's screaming and no one can hear her.

Her heart's been bleeding

for over two years now.

No one to help stem the flow.

It seems like everytime

she has something good,

it's taken away.

It's better here...

they constantly glare.

Cruel eyes in a lonely world.

She needs something to give light to her darkened world.

Constant whispers & she hears her name

I thought we'd told you.

NOPE! SORRY! I'm never told anything.

She goes on a rage,

very much like this.

No one to help free her from her cage.

A two-faced world.

They treat her like a princess.

They treat her like *h*t.

Her brother, so far away...

probably hurting just the same.

She gives understanding and forgiveness

even when none are given in return.

She can't cry,

for if she does

her whole world will come

crashing down.

She's so numb,

it hurts like hell.

If they'd give her a chance, believe me...she would excel!

Waiting patiently for people with no patience...

What to blog?

Hello viewing audience of one....maybe two....who knows? I am so bored of writing about local bands because they never have much info on their myspaces. If anyone has a suggestion of what bands to do So, I guess I can talk about something else again. I will talk about how my radio show is going. Or maybe i'll post a song on here that I wrote myself. Or maybe i'll just keep writing like this...nobody knows. Ok, so after a debate with myself (very interesting, i know) I have decided that for the next few blogs I will post songs or poetry that I have written instead of doing bands.


The poem I am about to share with you i wrote about two or three years ago. I wrote while I was on a trip to Seattle, Washington for my Uncle Kirby's wedding. I was dating a boy at the time, and was sad to be away from him. But it really could be taken in different ways too. Well, I hope whoever reads this enjoys it or whatnot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  "Missing You" 

 by Tricia Sauer 

With the sea breeze blowing on me,

blowing my hair around,

I imagine that it's you,

running your hands through my hair.

I desperately try to find "our song"on the radio,

so I can imagine us dancing together to it, again.

I'm fifteen hundred miles away

& I miss you.

I wrap my arms around myself,

& I imagine that it's your arms,

keeping me safe & warm.

I close my eyes, love

& think of you

& oh, how I miss you so.

Pictures of you run through my head.

I imagine your eyes, your laugh, your smile.

I want you to hold me & keep me close by.

I know you'll always be my shoulder to cry on & you'll catch me if I fall

I'll be here, your rock, when you need me, if you fall.

And I want you to know, babe,

that i'll be with you through everything.

I'm lonely without you...

you brighten my day.

Even when i'm not this far away,

I miss you always.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm thinking that maybe this poem wasn't finished. Sometimes I find that going back and reading poems can be a thrilling thing. If you were to compare two poems/works of art to one another from most recent to least recent, you could most likely see the difference in the styles. When I look back at my poems I can usually tell which ones were written in middle school, high school, or college. This particular poem was written in my junior year My middle school poems were generally pretty repetitive. All of them had the same general theme. My high school poems actually were pretty good except for the fact that I basically knew nothing about meter, and such. And as for college, besides the fact that I really haven't had much time to write, my poems are good but unfinished, like there is something more I could say in each one.

 

Another really great thing about looking back at things you've written is seeing how much you've changed as a person: what matters most to you in life, how you feel about a certain topic or person, what kind of struggles you've been through, how your faith/life is truely touched by the Holy Spirit. For the most part my poems/songs all tend to be within a few different topics such as heartbreak, depression, grief, pain, hope, love, hopelessness, the past, my father, Jesus, and topics that i'm passionate about. Sometimes my writings tell a story. Other times I just try to relate a feeling to the reader (which is most often myself or sometimes my friends).

I don't know if anyone is really getting anything out of this. I hope that you all do. I actually have better writings that I will share with you all. Most of them reflect how i was feeling at the time. Well, since I don't have much more important stuff to say I think I will just go. Ha ha. Hope you all enjoy the poem.